Since May is Myositis Awareness Month, I felt a gnawing urge to write about my current status as I have not taken the time to do so in awhile. The last time I wrote, I was in a very good spot. I had been diagnosed with Lyme, my symptoms were controlled and treated, and I had gained all of my muscle back and then some. Today I sing a different song, I have close friends and loved ones who don’t even realize the extent of what I am battling. Why? Because I am no different a person with these terrible symptoms than I am without. I have an invisible illness, and just a few weeks ago it started to take hold again. I constantly try to hide it because I don’t want to be treated any differently than someone who is perfectly healthy. However, I have decided I no longer want the burden of hiding it. I no longer care if people judge me, I am still a kind-hearted and generous person… what my body decides to do to myself is simply out of my control. Lyme has once again triggered my myositis, so I am battling two enemies at one time. Throughout these past few years I have remained positive and I will continue to do so, it worked for me before and I have no doubt it will work again. Within a few months, I will be back to where I was at and from what the doctor says, hopefully cured from the Lyme altogether at that point.
In case you were wondering… Yes, I still am going to the gym and taking a ballet class. Yes, I am eating an even healthier diet than I ever would have in the past. Yes, I can stand on my own two feet. I still work full time, I still am maintaining a 4.0 in my graduate program, and I am not planning on stopping there. I am very proud of who I have become and I have no shame in sharing any of this. Why? Because it is real, this is who I am whether I like it or not. If there are people who do not want to affiliate with me because of it, so be it. I have learned that I have no time for people who think there is something wrong with me, or people who don’t realize my worth. I am done being labeled and categorized. I overcome battles every single day that others know nothing about. I have gotten through this before and I have no doubt I will get through it again. Staying positive and looking forward has been my key to success.
“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson